My Big (Trash) Day, 2025
How to Play the Worst Bingo Game
Why are we like this?
Last October, when I discovered a microwave in the creek behind our house, I knew it was time to put my long-delayed plan to do a Big Day into effect. Not a Big Day in the birding sense of the word, but a full day gathering the refuse left behind by all the hikers, dog-walkers, hunters, and anglers who use the area for recreational purposes. A Big Trash Day, or BTD.
I don’t blame them for wanting to spend time here. Pine Creek is beautiful, and the Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission encourages the local populace to use the waterway by stocking it with trout twice yearly. For my part, I love the birding here. From tiny Ruby-throated Hummingbird to giant Bald Eagle, and everything in between, I’ve observed 138 species in the birding patch I call Saddle Sanctuary.
But not all who enjoy this area practice good stewardship of it, and furthermore the road that runs through it is woodsy and secluded, making it a favorite spot for local slobs to pull over and dump waste of all kinds—household, yard, automotive… you name it. Not uncommon to find carcasses back there, either. Dead deer are the most common, but I was devastated to find a half dozen gunshot coyotes tossed by the roadside last year. Three more appeared not long after I called the county game warden, but incidents of coyote dumping appear to have halted since then.
I found a lot of shit last year, most of which I bagged and piled up during my inaugural BTD, and which the township was kind enough to send a truck to retrieve.
That was years of accumulated garbage. This year’s BTD would involve one year of buildup, and it’s been gratifying to observe that most of the people who pass time here take care to leave their space at least as clean as they found it. Makes sense that people who enjoy the outdoors because the outdoors are beautiful want to keep them beautiful. I intended to do my BTD, but the need felt less urgent this time.
Until the bags showed up.
There are worse things this person could have jettisoned than yard waste in paper bags, but why not take the extra step, an extra five minutes, and rid the bags of their perfectly biodegradable contents? Especially when there’s a big trash bin where he (I strongly suspect a he) could have stuffed the empties?
Why? Why are we like this?
Whatever the psychology, the bags were ugly and had to go. This past Monday was an opportune day in terms of weather, so I carved out a five-hour shift.
First things first. I got my Bingo card ready. Based on last year’s experience, these were the most likely items I’d pick up. Keep reading to see how I scored!
Ready and armed with heavy-duty gloves and trash bags, I got to work. Somehow, my Cleveland Football hoodie seemed the appropriate attire. After all, the Browns are garbage.
I started with the tires that had recently been tossed into the woods by one of the parking spots, three of what must have once been a fine set of Michelins. Where the fourth was, I didn’t know.
A sweep of that pulloff area produced quite a lot of waste but very few surprises. Beverage containers were the main castoffs, and quite the variety!
The most fortuitous early find was a perfectly intact plastic bucket, which came so in handy in my hauling I intend to keep it for future Big Trash Days.
Next it was time to tackle the tackle—all the fishing gear that had accumulated along the creekside. Most critical was to find and remove any fishing line tangled in the trees and brush—little deathtraps for the valley’s wildlife, though there was likely to be little, as I remove the line on a year-round basis.
Once again drink containers made up the bulk. Natural Light appears to have been the beer of choice for the 2024-25 litter season, with light beers in general dominating the malted beverage landscape. I did remove all manner of fishing detritus, from lures to weights to bobbers, though happily it was scarce, and fishing line was especially hard to come by, aside from one wad I found on the ground and some more out of reach in a tree. That one I’ll have to come back for tomorrow.
Among the most repulsive finds were a water bottle filled with urine (puzzling, when there’s a whole outside to pee in) and a used prophylactic (gross, but I applaud the practice of safe sex and hope they had fun).
As I continued to hit the trash hotspots, like the train trestle, I encountered the expected.
The delicious.
And the unidentifiable.
The fields next to the train tracks are always dotted with campfire remains. The sites were trash free. That was surprising, given how littered with shotgun shells they were last year. Aside from ash, this brick was the lone sign that humans had been present. Perhaps I owe Mr. or Ms. SNELLMAN (or is it SNELL MAN?) a debt of gratitude for their tidiness.
I can assure you I picked up more than just trash along the way. I escorted exactly one tick from my person and about 30 thousand burrs.
Doing a BTD comes with some risk, hardly surprising when dealing with jagged metal, broken glass, and uneven terrain. Twice I nearly took a spill into the creek. I endured any number of little scratches and cuts as I freed cans and bottles from the thorny brush. Easily the most painful encounter was with this plastic netting, which I freed from the grip of what I discovered was stinging nettle.
That was easily the worst trash and the worst pain I encountered all day, but since I found this netting in one of the birdiest parts of the Sanctuary, I was happy remove the menace, even if it meant my forearms catching fire for about 15 minutes (the Browns hoodie was shed when the day got too warm).
Mental note—bring aloe next year.
Remember that plastic bucket? The last leg of my BTD was going to be the stretch of Pine Creek that runs by the Pine Creek Golf Club, a driving range that occasionally sees golf balls clear the netting that is meant to keep them on the property.
Let’s play a game. Whoever can most closely guess how many golf balls I picked up will win six months of access to my paid content. An exact guess will win you a full year. Leave your guess in the comments!
When my time was winding down, I lumbered wearily back to the car. The final trash I collected, which I had somehow missed, was right next to the car.
I picked up the glove and whatever article the other thing was, added them to the heap, and stepped back to behold fruit of my labor in all its disgusting glory. Oh yeah, and I did manage to track down that fourth Michelin.
Thankless labor? Not at all. Several people thanked me once I convinced them that I myself was in fact not dumping trash by the roadside, including the assistant township manager, who sent a truck out the next day.
I also made a little dough for my efforts—roughly $0.05/hour, if my calculations are correct.
But I’m not in it for the money. Or the thanks. Or the vodka. I could have used some by the time I was done, but the miscreants who tossed aside their bottles left not one drop for the sucker who would inevitably clean up after them. Luckily a belt of something brown and strong was waiting at home (imbibed as usual from my Lord of the Rings glass, a Christmas present from my son Santiago). As was an ice cold shower beer, a nice reward after 16,134 steps, or 6.72 trash-filled miles.
And about that Bingo game? Looks like I “won” in five different directions.
🪦 👕 In Memoriam 👕 🪦
I wear clothes until they’re falling off my body. That’s especially true for my favorite T-shirt. I’ve had this beauty from the Rubber City Clothing Company for almost 20 years. Another Christmas present, this one from my idiot sister Krissy, I chose it as a sacrifice to my BTD. There comes a time when an item of clothing gets too beat up even for me, and I’m glad it died in service to Pine Creek and the birds.
The Rubber City Clothing Co T-shirt is survived by the Cleveland Football hoodie.
Featured Photo—Swamp Sparrow
Here’s one of the birds I do this for. Swamp Sparrows are fairly common in Saddle Sanctuary, including one or two that overwintered last year. What a shame if this beautiful resident got tangled in some left-behind fishing line. I’ve been seeing this one every day lately. We’ll see if it plans on making the Sanctuary’s wetland spots a home during the coming cold months.
10/10 Recommends
I’ll never give up coffee, but I have made an effort over the last year to patronize brands with better environmental practices. Turns out those brands also provide a better than average cup of Joe, or in the case of Songbird Coffee, a superb cup. My friend and fellow Substacker
gifted me a bag of beans (Guatemalan variety) for my 50th birthday, a milestone she celebrated long before I did (by 17 days), and after one cup I was sold. Great coffee, better writer. Subscribe to Elizabeth’s Substack and learn all about the Rachel Carson Trail, which Pine Creek runs through! I recommend reading her posts in the morning with coffee.That’s all for this week. How do you look after the natural spaces you frequent and care about? Do you have a favorite birding patch you’ve seen defiled? Do you have any good answer to the question I posited at the beginning of this post? Because I want to know—
Why are we like this?
nwb
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This post was human generated. All media by Nathaniel Bowler.
Why are we like this? Because many are lazy and ignorant of their impact on the environment. Once your eyes are opened, you easily see that this type of behavior affects not just Nature, but yourself. Great post, and thanks for cleaning up your area!
92 golf balls
Thanks for keeping PGH clean(ish)